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The only things scheduled for today are my appointment with the hypnotist at two and my admission to the left wing at 7 this evening. I’m off for the rest of the day. This morning I tried to sleep in, but after 9 o’clock all I did was toss and turn. All morning I’ve been imagining every possible disaster scenario and came quite close to calling the whole thing off. I took a walk in a beautiful Japanese garden not so far from here and sat for quite a long time on a little bench there.

My life may never be the same after the operation. First they’ll pinpoint the exact location with a Transcranial Magnetiser, and then drill a hole in my skull to place the implant in the appropriate lobe. I find the drilling an especially horrid idea. Like I’m Pinocchio. What if they go too deep or lose their grip? I can’t bear to think about it.

They’re trying to set my mind at ease by comparing the operation to drilling holes in my ears or placing tubes. But for those things they don’t need to open my skull! Even if the technique had been used a thousand times without any complications, it’s still creepy. What will be the side effects of that implant? The futuristic aspect of this is something that I find very attractive, but what if it goes wrong? The area of the brain where the MSI or MESI will be placed will be in a confused state for a couple of weeks because of the damaged junctions. After that it will adapt and new junctions will form. But what if there is lasting damage?

On the other hand I find this enterprise terribly exciting. I am so curious about what it will be like to experience the memories of another person. I’m lucky to be able to go through this experience, really!